This is not a posting about cross-dressing, at least not directly. In fact, it feels almost like a rant… but it’s not quite that either. Maybe it’s whining? Negative observations?? I guess it’s just a list of reality that can only come from a trans* perspective.
I suppose I should explain what I am talking about and how this all came about… I was chatting (internet chat room style) with a couple of other cross-dressers and Emily, a GG (genetic girl; still dislike that acronym/phrase, but it is descriptive). Emily said to me “I get the desire to wear women’s clothes, but I don’t understand why you would like to actually look like a woman if you are not interested in becoming one.” A valid question, and one I have pondered many times. It is true I would like have a completely female appearance even though I don’t want to transition. I do the eyebrows, want to cinch my waist (even with permanent effects) etc.
Her core comment was based on the idea that clothes were one level but looking and acting was another level. I guess I really don’t disagree, but that’s where I am. Her further comments were then centered around the idea that she would not mind at all if her boyfriend wanted to dress as a woman, but any sort of body change would be a different issue for her.
Fair enough. That’s how she feels, but I can’t just be a guy in a dress. I need the full feminine presentation to feel complete. I know in the universe of transgenderia, we all have different desires, needs, and goals. That is completely fine with me. If another CD can just put a skirt on with their male shirt and shoes and feel fulfilled, then go for it! Valerie simply requires a more complete feminine presentation.
The conversation then became of one of “what’s wrong with your male body that you want (need) to change it?” Well… simply put… then the flood gates opened! Below are the main issues that were brought up. Not all mine, but I can’t really argue with any of them. Some are more relevant than others to me, but they are not in any particular order:
One of my biggest dislikes about the typical male presentation. I don’t know why it bothers me so much but those long, wild, unkept brows disgust me. Clean arches are so much more attractive. Got to be careful though, go too far and you’ll end up with a bit of a Boy George look in your day-to-day life, which wouldn’t be good either.
So disappointing to find you can’t get the shoes you would really like in your size. Some men have feet that rival skis and while I think my feet are too large, I know many with bigger! Seems to be getting worse with the youth of today also. Their feet seem to be huge comparatively (or is it just me?)
Big hands can be a bit of a “give away” to those out and about. That’s not my biggest issue with hands though, I dislike not being able to find costume jewelry rings that fit my fingers. Also, being a vintage girl, I like the formal gloves my ladies used to wear and finding some of those to fit me is almost an impossible task.
This doesn’t bother me too much because I need a short male business-like haircut anyway. However I have some friends that have their hair grown out long and love being able to have their own hair when dressing, but even if you are not balding, the hairline still tends to recede to a disappointing point.
Men are just taller than women. Typical men like it, but we really don’t. I would give up all the so-called advantages of being taller to have a better female presentation. Add that I like require heels with most of my outfits and it gets even worse.
Might be even more disgusting that the eyebrows issue to me. Seems as we age the hair that might be leaving the scalp begins to take up residence in our ears. I simply can’t stand it!
Any body hair is disgusting to me, but hairy arms, legs, chest, backs, butts, etc. are… well… disgusting! I guess top of the head and reasonable brows are the only body hair I can stand.
Our shoulders tend to be broad. Even though I don’t have a muscular physique and really am a bit of a weakling for my size, my shoulders are too damn broad. The shoulders sometimes force us into larger sizes to accommodate them. Then the look or selection suffers…
The deepness varies person to person and the issue can depend on what you are trying to accomplish. But a deep baritone voice is never what you want accompanying a beautifully feminine presentation.
I fortunately don’t have much of an issue here, but some really struggle with it and claim that it gives them away more than anything else. It can also force some to wear only outfits that tend to hide it (lotsa scarves I suppose?).
Penis and Friends:
Yes if you are going to try and wear a string bikini at the beach this may be an issue, but with my choice of clothing, the tried and true “packaging” methods are fine for me. I should also note that while I do like to put them away, I don’t want them removed. They come in handy for other things…
Belly Fat/Big Gut:
Another issue that just tends to come with age. I am trying to get a small “wasp” waist and nature is fighting me tooth and nail. Seems like you practically have to starve yourself to win the battle. If your preference is to present as a pregnant female, nature may just have us covered.
There were many others thrown into the conversation, but I simply can’t remember any more of them at the present time. I’m sure more will come to me as soon as I hit the publish button. Come to think of it, isn’t memory (lack of) another one of those male traits? I’m sure each of us has a similar list.
It was a good chat and much of it was pretty light-hearted, while some was very serious. In the end, Emily said” You may be right. Men can be repulsive in a lot of ways, but I still like them that way… but they need a feminine influence”. Well, a feminine influence is one thing we certainly already have built in…