A little bit of this… and then some more of this

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fragment

Noun \ frag·ment \ˈfrag-mənt\

a portion broken off, detached, or incomplete part

Valerie Fragment

Noun \ val·er·ie frag·ment \ val·(ə-)rē ˈfrag-mənt\

a portion or broken thought, detached mental meanderings, or an incomplete selection of rumination

Its been a few months since I bored you all with some of those little blurbs I like to call Valerie Fragments, where I can talk about some thoughts or happenings that aren’t enough for a complete post on their own merit. So fasten your seat belts, I don’t want anyone getting hurt with excitement!

Oh God no… not a pink one!

I was in a store in a local shopping mall when I saw man of about 30 years asking a salesgirl if they had a particular type of item he was looking for. I didn’t hear what the specific item was, but she went to check and came back with bad news… “sorry, no”. She then said if he would write down his name and phone number, she could check around and get back to him, which seemed to please him. She went to a checkout station a retrieved a pen and note pad and laid it on the counter for him. The salesgirl then proceeded to ring up another customer who was waiting. The man picked up the notepad and went around to the other side of the station… and picked up a different pen. He then wrote down his details.

The pen the salesgirl had initially set down for him was pink. I could only assume that being the astute being that he is, he was successfully able to avoid an unwanted feminine contamination, that quite possibly could have resulted in his penis popping off. Clever man! I smirked at the whole episode, but thought it was a good example of a strange fear that most men have of the slightest appearance of feminine behavior… like writing with a pink pen.

I have now come to the conclusion that to keep the average man off something or away from something you don’t want them fiddling with, just color it pink or put a flower on it. It will be considered radioactively feminine from there on.

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Who knew?? And I have none of these in my purse!

Why are women naturally so much closer than men?

Sort of piggy-backing on the previous fragment, I wonder why men are so unwilling or incapable of showing any real emotion around each other. I have watched women who see each other after a long break hug each other with real emotion. I have witnessed three girls out for the evening pile tightly into the front seat of a car (think back to the days of bench seats). I have observed a woman grab another woman’s hand and lead her into a store to look at something. Nothing special in-and-of itself, but could you ever men doing these things? Yeah, me neither…

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I might just have a second career I never knew about.

Once again I have been doing some traveling for work and on a longer flight I had a nice conversation with a female flight attendant. (Can’t call them stewardesses anymore, but I still do.) She said she enjoys her job most of the time, but sometimes it’s a little depressing watching people come and go, moving on to exciting new horizons (maybe) and she is in the same place no matter where the plane is. Kind of reminds me of my life as Valerie. For years I have met trans* people who have found themselves and grown and moved on to exciting new horizons (maybe) and I am in the same place no matter where the closet is. I need to get my hands on a vintage stewardess outfit, makes being in a holding pattern a little more tolerable… preferably Trans World Airlines of course! Coffee, tea, or me?

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Leia and Padme have nothing on Grace.

The hype over Star Wars is on the wane now, but for several months it was the topic du jour everywhere. I did my share of reading since I grew up with the movies. By far the best article I read was on the costumes/fashions and hair styles of the females in that galaxy far, far away… Of course they talked about Princess Leia’s and Queen Amidala’s wild hairstyles and how they were groundbreaking. I suppose they were to a point, but I have seen some similarly innovative hair styles on another princess I am familiar with… a long time ago, but not so far, far away…

Funny how I have not seen any of these styles in the wigs stores…

So, what did you do?

At Christmas time I wished everyone a Merry Christmas and challenged everyone to do something nice for someone you don’t know. Well? Did you do it?? You don’t really have to tell me, but if you didn’t do it (yet) then get on with it will ya??

That’s all I’ve got at the moment… be well ladies!

-ValS

Wrapping up 2015; and looking forward…

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So here we go into year number 3 in the blogging world. 2015 came and went in what seemed like a flash. Many transgender issues were cast into the public spotlight throughout the year… some good things and some not-so good. However, at least they are being “discussed” (I use that term loosely, depending on who is doing the discussing). Years ago the very same topics wouldn’t get the same level of exposure in the media like they do today, and certainly the good people of the world wouldn’t be confabulating about them openly.

I look around at many of the trans* persons I have come to know and I see so much growth and exploration. I am thrilled for these people, and also envious. The only growth I have achieved over the last year was a quick trip out as Valerie with my wife, and I am not sure it had an overall great effect on our relationship. It was personally monumental at the time, but now seems like ancient history.

So here I sit, comfortably huddled in my closet of reclusion, really just being the same person I was last year at this time. Yes, I lost all vestiges of hirsuteness, painted up my toes, and even spent some days dressed in bliss over the last month or so, but I haven’t progressed a bit. I’m not complaining as much as I am stating the obvious… that is the life of a closeted cross-dresser.

I really haven’t had the opportunity to do much more recently, as I have all my children off school and at home over the holiday break. The last will resume studies next week, so I hope to have some more free time back soon. Then I can read and write more without a nosy body saying “what’cha reading” or “what are you writing” as they try to steal a glimpse of my screen. Once, while reading a trans* person’s blog, my youngest plopped down beside me and said “Can I play too?” I just quickly minimized the page and said that “I’m not sure this is something you would like to play”, and the response was “More work stuff?” Sure, that’s it… more work stuff.

The holidays were wonderful really. I enjoyed the time off work and spent with family and friends. All dressing desires aside, everything was very enjoyable… even a Christmas family dinner event…

Somehow during dinner, the conversation turned to politics. Not surprising really, as my wife and family are very politically aware and yes… opinionated. Where I live in the US, it is the norm… very conservative and vocal people. As I have said before, I love my family, friends and neighbors, but we have somewhat different beliefs and attitudes, which is fine.

On the other hand (the one with bright red, long fingernails…), both Valerie and my “Bob” are not overly political. In fact I rarely discuss politics in either world. In this blog, you will not find I am out to change the world or push an agenda… right or left. Many of my trans* sisters and cis friends do that, and I support their right to do so. It’s just not me.

Anyway, back to dinner conversation…

The whole gun control topic came up and it was a rather one-sided conversation. I think besides myself, there was only one other adult male there who didn’t own a firearm. Actually, some of the women there have them and a few have concealed-carry licenses. Not a revelation to me.

I have mentioned before that many in my wife’s family are active hunters, and frequently I will get asked if I want to go hunting with them. They know the response will always be no, but they will say “Just checking to see if you changed your mind.”. This time around, one of my brothers in-law asked me when I was going to get a gun, to which I replied “never”. But it was his response that made me smile… he said, “We can get you a small one that you can fit in your purse.” suggesting that a man without a gun is not a man (feel free to flex and grunt accordingly). I know he was just kidding, but I wanted to say “All my purses are pretty small, and with my make-up and things I carry I just won’t have room.”. Then as quickly as the topic came up, it changed to something less volatile. Overall, it was a very enjoyable holiday.

So now I turn my attention to 2016 and moving forward., hoping for some of that growth myself. I only have so much winter left and intend to take advantage of it. I am continuing to build a more modern Valerie wardrobe and am truly enjoying the shopping so far. Turns out I might just have a modern side after all!

The most limiting factor at the moment is money. Once I got over the vintage bias and started to find some current fashions I liked, I spent more money on Valerie than I have for quite some time. It’s worth it though, and I’m not done yet. It’s a good thing I will be winning $1.3 billion in the powerball drawing this upcoming Wednesday! Haven’t you heard?? It’s all part of the Valerie South plan!

-ValS

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