Wrapping up 2015; and looking forward…

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So here we go into year number 3 in the blogging world. 2015 came and went in what seemed like a flash. Many transgender issues were cast into the public spotlight throughout the year… some good things and some not-so good. However, at least they are being “discussed” (I use that term loosely, depending on who is doing the discussing). Years ago the very same topics wouldn’t get the same level of exposure in the media like they do today, and certainly the good people of the world wouldn’t be confabulating about them openly.

I look around at many of the trans* persons I have come to know and I see so much growth and exploration. I am thrilled for these people, and also envious. The only growth I have achieved over the last year was a quick trip out as Valerie with my wife, and I am not sure it had an overall great effect on our relationship. It was personally monumental at the time, but now seems like ancient history.

So here I sit, comfortably huddled in my closet of reclusion, really just being the same person I was last year at this time. Yes, I lost all vestiges of hirsuteness, painted up my toes, and even spent some days dressed in bliss over the last month or so, but I haven’t progressed a bit. I’m not complaining as much as I am stating the obvious… that is the life of a closeted cross-dresser.

I really haven’t had the opportunity to do much more recently, as I have all my children off school and at home over the holiday break. The last will resume studies next week, so I hope to have some more free time back soon. Then I can read and write more without a nosy body saying “what’cha reading” or “what are you writing” as they try to steal a glimpse of my screen. Once, while reading a trans* person’s blog, my youngest plopped down beside me and said “Can I play too?” I just quickly minimized the page and said that “I’m not sure this is something you would like to play”, and the response was “More work stuff?” Sure, that’s it… more work stuff.

The holidays were wonderful really. I enjoyed the time off work and spent with family and friends. All dressing desires aside, everything was very enjoyable… even a Christmas family dinner event…

Somehow during dinner, the conversation turned to politics. Not surprising really, as my wife and family are very politically aware and yes… opinionated. Where I live in the US, it is the norm… very conservative and vocal people. As I have said before, I love my family, friends and neighbors, but we have somewhat different beliefs and attitudes, which is fine.

On the other hand (the one with bright red, long fingernails…), both Valerie and my “Bob” are not overly political. In fact I rarely discuss politics in either world. In this blog, you will not find I am out to change the world or push an agenda… right or left. Many of my trans* sisters and cis friends do that, and I support their right to do so. It’s just not me.

Anyway, back to dinner conversation…

The whole gun control topic came up and it was a rather one-sided conversation. I think besides myself, there was only one other adult male there who didn’t own a firearm. Actually, some of the women there have them and a few have concealed-carry licenses. Not a revelation to me.

I have mentioned before that many in my wife’s family are active hunters, and frequently I will get asked if I want to go hunting with them. They know the response will always be no, but they will say “Just checking to see if you changed your mind.”. This time around, one of my brothers in-law asked me when I was going to get a gun, to which I replied “never”. But it was his response that made me smile… he said, “We can get you a small one that you can fit in your purse.” suggesting that a man without a gun is not a man (feel free to flex and grunt accordingly). I know he was just kidding, but I wanted to say “All my purses are pretty small, and with my make-up and things I carry I just won’t have room.”. Then as quickly as the topic came up, it changed to something less volatile. Overall, it was a very enjoyable holiday.

So now I turn my attention to 2016 and moving forward., hoping for some of that growth myself. I only have so much winter left and intend to take advantage of it. I am continuing to build a more modern Valerie wardrobe and am truly enjoying the shopping so far. Turns out I might just have a modern side after all!

The most limiting factor at the moment is money. Once I got over the vintage bias and started to find some current fashions I liked, I spent more money on Valerie than I have for quite some time. It’s worth it though, and I’m not done yet. It’s a good thing I will be winning $1.3 billion in the powerball drawing this upcoming Wednesday! Haven’t you heard?? It’s all part of the Valerie South plan!

-ValS

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4 thoughts on “Wrapping up 2015; and looking forward…

  1. I find it’s always semi sweet when family get together. No matter how much you love people you will always have opposing view points and beliefs that just don’t match. I feel your pain as I have been in conversations about LGTBQ issues and I just walk away from them due to not being able to enlighten some people. Good luck in 2016.

  2. Love your money making plan. Same as mine. 😂😂

    Right Wing Conservative Christian. Now there is a contradiction if I ever came across one. The problem with that is they frequently are the most un Christian people you will ever meet. We have our fair share of them here in The North Of Ireland. I hope you are not offended by that opinion.

    The US gun lobby. Living outside of The States I, like many Europeans, cannot get my head around this desire for weapon ownership. Guns have one primary purpose and that is to kill. Hunting! I do not get it, unless of course it is to get food to survive or in the relms of pest control. A sport it is not. Maybe a little Dirringer in your garter under your petticoat???? You you should have gone along with your brother in law and said exactly what you did in print, that what with all the make up etc!!!!

    So in regard to the trans* topic at the table, what was the general opinion?, or on getting off side I suppose you missed that. I am sure your wife looking at you directly had you very much un nerved. I know had it been me I would have made an excuse and got off side too.

    Yes alot has I feel moved on during 2015 in relation to trans* awareness and there have been some interesting discussions, films and general programmes. There is still a mountain to climb but it will be climbed.

    Thoughtful blog as always. Thank you

    M

  3. I would never make it as a financial adviser… and (almost) nothing you could say would ever offend me… maybe…

    The whole gun issue is complicated in the States, but I see it similarly to you (I think)… guns are designed for one thing… to kill. I simply don’t want any part of that. Hunting? Well I don’t consider it sport, but more of a killing hobby. It is necessary to control deer populations etc. around here, but I have no desire to participate. The only hunting I do is in stores.

    The general consensus was the world is nuts and lost all morals, and trans* people are just another example of God’s plan gone awry… Desert anyone?
    -ValS

Thoughts anyone??

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