A little bit of this… and then some more of this

x252

fragment

Noun \ frag·ment \ˈfrag-mənt\

a portion broken off, detached, or incomplete part

Valerie Fragment

Noun \ val·er·ie frag·ment \ val·(ə-)rē ˈfrag-mənt\

a portion or broken thought, detached mental meanderings, or an incomplete selection of rumination

Its been a few months since I bored you all with some of those little blurbs I like to call Valerie Fragments, where I can talk about some thoughts or happenings that aren’t enough for a complete post on their own merit. So fasten your seat belts, I don’t want anyone getting hurt with excitement!

Oh God no… not a pink one!

I was in a store in a local shopping mall when I saw man of about 30 years asking a salesgirl if they had a particular type of item he was looking for. I didn’t hear what the specific item was, but she went to check and came back with bad news… “sorry, no”. She then said if he would write down his name and phone number, she could check around and get back to him, which seemed to please him. She went to a checkout station a retrieved a pen and note pad and laid it on the counter for him. The salesgirl then proceeded to ring up another customer who was waiting. The man picked up the notepad and went around to the other side of the station… and picked up a different pen. He then wrote down his details.

The pen the salesgirl had initially set down for him was pink. I could only assume that being the astute being that he is, he was successfully able to avoid an unwanted feminine contamination, that quite possibly could have resulted in his penis popping off. Clever man! I smirked at the whole episode, but thought it was a good example of a strange fear that most men have of the slightest appearance of feminine behavior… like writing with a pink pen.

I have now come to the conclusion that to keep the average man off something or away from something you don’t want them fiddling with, just color it pink or put a flower on it. It will be considered radioactively feminine from there on.

x261

Who knew?? And I have none of these in my purse!

Why are women naturally so much closer than men?

Sort of piggy-backing on the previous fragment, I wonder why men are so unwilling or incapable of showing any real emotion around each other. I have watched women who see each other after a long break hug each other with real emotion. I have witnessed three girls out for the evening pile tightly into the front seat of a car (think back to the days of bench seats). I have observed a woman grab another woman’s hand and lead her into a store to look at something. Nothing special in-and-of itself, but could you ever men doing these things? Yeah, me neither…

x257

I might just have a second career I never knew about.

Once again I have been doing some traveling for work and on a longer flight I had a nice conversation with a female flight attendant. (Can’t call them stewardesses anymore, but I still do.) She said she enjoys her job most of the time, but sometimes it’s a little depressing watching people come and go, moving on to exciting new horizons (maybe) and she is in the same place no matter where the plane is. Kind of reminds me of my life as Valerie. For years I have met trans* people who have found themselves and grown and moved on to exciting new horizons (maybe) and I am in the same place no matter where the closet is. I need to get my hands on a vintage stewardess outfit, makes being in a holding pattern a little more tolerable… preferably Trans World Airlines of course! Coffee, tea, or me?

x250

Leia and Padme have nothing on Grace.

The hype over Star Wars is on the wane now, but for several months it was the topic du jour everywhere. I did my share of reading since I grew up with the movies. By far the best article I read was on the costumes/fashions and hair styles of the females in that galaxy far, far away… Of course they talked about Princess Leia’s and Queen Amidala’s wild hairstyles and how they were groundbreaking. I suppose they were to a point, but I have seen some similarly innovative hair styles on another princess I am familiar with… a long time ago, but not so far, far away…

Funny how I have not seen any of these styles in the wigs stores…

So, what did you do?

At Christmas time I wished everyone a Merry Christmas and challenged everyone to do something nice for someone you don’t know. Well? Did you do it?? You don’t really have to tell me, but if you didn’t do it (yet) then get on with it will ya??

That’s all I’ve got at the moment… be well ladies!

-ValS

Advertisements

Valerie fragments, or simply scatter-brained

x161

In a typical day for me, a flurry of random thoughts go through my mind almost constantly. You may be familiar with the term “scatter-brained” and more often than not, that is me. When I need to focus on work or some other important issue, I am usually able to turn it all off and tackle the matters at hand. However, when I let my mind wander it definitely goes all over the place. Easily 95% of these random thoughts are cross-dressing related, especially in the fall/winter when Valerie is ever present.

I watched my dog the other day, as she in turn was watching our cat eating some chicken my wife had given her. The dog really wanted that chicken, but knew she couldn’t just go run in and take it. She looked at me as if begging for me to tell her it was OK to take the chicken away from that stupid cat. I never gave the approval so the dog turned its attention back to the cat and let out a little whimper of disappointment and jealousy. After the cat had finished the treat and wandered off for a bath or a nap, the dog walked up to the bowl and sniffed for any scraps left over. You could see the look of hurt and wanting in her eyes. Just then my wife said to the dog, “would you like a little snack also?” and the dog started jumping around in excitement because she so badly wanted some chicken too. With her tail-a-waggin’, the dog forgot all the worries previous, and ate the chicken at a ridiculously fast pace. When she had finished, I noticed the look in her eye was pure joy and you could tell she wanted more, more, MORE!

I’m sure you know where this is going. As soon as it was over I thought that’s exactly how I feel about cross-dressing. I sit there watching the “cats” as they do their make-up and wear the pretty clothes, wishing I could get the permission from society to run in and share in the “chicken”. When the situation presents itself where I can get some time to be Valerie, or like recently when my wife helped me to go out, then the look in my eyes and soul becomes one of pure joy and I find myself wanting more, more, MORE!

Anyway, while the dog story is an appropriate metaphor for Valerie’s existence, that really wasn’t the only topic I sat down to write about today. What I intended to discuss was a few simple thoughts/situations I have had recently, but that individually didn’t seem to have enough substance for a full blogging (like the dog story). So I have begun call these “Valerie fragments”, at least that’s the name of the file I stuck the idea in. Anyway, here are a few more:

NOT SO BROKEN

I am not as broken as I once thought. By that I mean, I have long held the view that something has always been wrong with me, that somewhere along the line some wires got crossed and made me transgender. Along with that mindset, I always viewed it as my problem. After spending a year on the blogging circuit I no longer feel that way. While I still feel different, I don’t feel “broken”. I have many of you to thank for that, so thank you.

I MET BOB

Last week I had a meeting at work with an organization we often partner with. They brought along a new team member who was named “Bob”. I couldn’t help but think that he must be transgender since I am meeting “Bob”, and many of you U.K. Girls often refer to this “Bob”. I scanned him over completely for any clues and really found nothing. Seems like a typical guy, but I so wanted to find one shred of evidence that would prove me right. Oh well, apparently not all “Bobs” have another side of their personality. Hopefully he (or anyone else in the room) didn’t notice me visually over-inspecting him.

SO WHAT DO YOU DO?

I am seriously thinking of expanding Valerie’s horizons a bit more in the future. One step I may take is contacting and joining a support group… sort of moving up to the next size closet. One of the (many) reasons I have not done so before is I thought it would feel odd just sitting in a room or gathering with several men dressed like women, or with transgender women presenting as their true selves. So what do you do when you go to these meetings? It’s not just unstructured, casual talk is it? If so, I’m not sure I could handle that on my own. So tell me girls, what do you do?

FAT FINGERS

I typically do most of my WordPress work on my laptop. Recently I have been accessing WordPress through the mobile app and viewing and commenting via my phone. It certainly is more convenient but I have “fat-fingering” problem. Touch the wrong part of the screen and I am liking or following comments and blogs I never meant to. The reverse is also true… I scroll through the reader at the multitude of blogs I follow and have inadvertently unfollowed blogs I never meant to remove. When I realize I haven’t seen a posting in a quite awhile, I check and see I am no longer following. Frustrating! So if you’re a blogger and you see notification that I am again following you, this is why. Sorry! I’m sure I have lost some that I can’t remember, but I’ll eventually find them again.

WE’RE A PROLIFIC BUNCH

Speaking of the multitude of blogs I follow. I am amazed at how quickly I can get behind in reading the various posts. TG or other, we bloggers obviously have a lot on our minds. I suppose that is what we are supposed to do. But being that I have limited access time (it’s a closet thing), I sometimes can’t get back in to read all the wonderful posts and then POOF, there’s 25 of them. I love reading the various blogs, so it’s a wonderful problem to have.

VALERIE NEEDS A MIDDLE NAME

As I was filling out a form in my male life (aka, “Bob’s world… thanks UK girls!), I had to fill in my middle name. When I was finished I thought about the fact that Valerie South has no middle name, and she needs one. So I am considering a few, but want one that both appeals to me and rolls off the tongue well. I considered both June and Grace for obvious reasons, but they just don’t feel altogether right. Since I have the luxury of picking my own and am in no hurry, I will probably spend countless hours thinking about it. For some reason Ann seems to sound good, but I have no personal attachment to the name. If there was a strong 1950s connection to it, I would go with it. But again… I’m in no hurry since Valerie has no forms that need filling out at the moment.

So there you go. A whole bunch of useless thoughts finally expelled from my mind and now out saturating the internet. I have many more, but in an effort to be somewhat merciful to all three readers, I’ll stop here for now. There will definitely be another “Valerie Fragments” post sometime in the future.

Scatter-brained….

-ValS

x152