Wrapping up 2015; and looking forward…


So here we go into year number 3 in the blogging world. 2015 came and went in what seemed like a flash. Many transgender issues were cast into the public spotlight throughout the year… some good things and some not-so good. However, at least they are being “discussed” (I use that term loosely, depending on who is doing the discussing). Years ago the very same topics wouldn’t get the same level of exposure in the media like they do today, and certainly the good people of the world wouldn’t be confabulating about them openly.

I look around at many of the trans* persons I have come to know and I see so much growth and exploration. I am thrilled for these people, and also envious. The only growth I have achieved over the last year was a quick trip out as Valerie with my wife, and I am not sure it had an overall great effect on our relationship. It was personally monumental at the time, but now seems like ancient history.

So here I sit, comfortably huddled in my closet of reclusion, really just being the same person I was last year at this time. Yes, I lost all vestiges of hirsuteness, painted up my toes, and even spent some days dressed in bliss over the last month or so, but I haven’t progressed a bit. I’m not complaining as much as I am stating the obvious… that is the life of a closeted cross-dresser.

I really haven’t had the opportunity to do much more recently, as I have all my children off school and at home over the holiday break. The last will resume studies next week, so I hope to have some more free time back soon. Then I can read and write more without a nosy body saying “what’cha reading” or “what are you writing” as they try to steal a glimpse of my screen. Once, while reading a trans* person’s blog, my youngest plopped down beside me and said “Can I play too?” I just quickly minimized the page and said that “I’m not sure this is something you would like to play”, and the response was “More work stuff?” Sure, that’s it… more work stuff.

The holidays were wonderful really. I enjoyed the time off work and spent with family and friends. All dressing desires aside, everything was very enjoyable… even a Christmas family dinner event…

Somehow during dinner, the conversation turned to politics. Not surprising really, as my wife and family are very politically aware and yes… opinionated. Where I live in the US, it is the norm… very conservative and vocal people. As I have said before, I love my family, friends and neighbors, but we have somewhat different beliefs and attitudes, which is fine.

On the other hand (the one with bright red, long fingernails…), both Valerie and my “Bob” are not overly political. In fact I rarely discuss politics in either world. In this blog, you will not find I am out to change the world or push an agenda… right or left. Many of my trans* sisters and cis friends do that, and I support their right to do so. It’s just not me.

Anyway, back to dinner conversation…

The whole gun control topic came up and it was a rather one-sided conversation. I think besides myself, there was only one other adult male there who didn’t own a firearm. Actually, some of the women there have them and a few have concealed-carry licenses. Not a revelation to me.

I have mentioned before that many in my wife’s family are active hunters, and frequently I will get asked if I want to go hunting with them. They know the response will always be no, but they will say “Just checking to see if you changed your mind.”. This time around, one of my brothers in-law asked me when I was going to get a gun, to which I replied “never”. But it was his response that made me smile… he said, “We can get you a small one that you can fit in your purse.” suggesting that a man without a gun is not a man (feel free to flex and grunt accordingly). I know he was just kidding, but I wanted to say “All my purses are pretty small, and with my make-up and things I carry I just won’t have room.”. Then as quickly as the topic came up, it changed to something less volatile. Overall, it was a very enjoyable holiday.

So now I turn my attention to 2016 and moving forward., hoping for some of that growth myself. I only have so much winter left and intend to take advantage of it. I am continuing to build a more modern Valerie wardrobe and am truly enjoying the shopping so far. Turns out I might just have a modern side after all!

The most limiting factor at the moment is money. Once I got over the vintage bias and started to find some current fashions I liked, I spent more money on Valerie than I have for quite some time. It’s worth it though, and I’m not done yet. It’s a good thing I will be winning $1.3 billion in the powerball drawing this upcoming Wednesday! Haven’t you heard?? It’s all part of the Valerie South plan!




I’m just about to hit it big!


Everyone has dreams and fantasies about what they would do if the won the lottery, and this cross-dresser is no exception.  I just think my list of things to do would be a little different than most other people.

Sure, like most people, I would really like to tell my boss that I no longer would be coming to work anymore.  Not needing to worry about an income source has got to be one of the greatest feelings in the world.  I have heard of many people winning the lottery and it being a curse.  I don’t think that curse would apply to me, and I am more than willing to give this “instantly wealthy” thing a whirl!

It’s my fantasy, so I am going with the thought I just took home $300 million.  So I just quit my job and the next thing I am going to do is get my ears pierced.  Work was the main reason I have never done this, so now that I don’t have a job it is getting done.  Anyone else in my life who notices my newly pierced ears will now just think of me as one of those eccentric wealthy folk instead of just weird.  Anyway, no boss to tell me it’s unacceptable so it’s a done deal.

Sure, sure, there’s lots of shopping to do and closets to pack full of vintage treasures, but those are the obvious things.  Every cross-dresser with a 1950’s fascination would be doing those things.  But there a couple of things I would do when I become the newest multi-millionaire that would separate me from the masses…

…like buying a second house.  Nothing too special, but I want a house to become the biggest closet a closeted cross-dresser could have.  Somewhere out of the way and hidden from the world where I could go in as a guy, turn into Donna Reed or Doris Day, and spend some time with the other side of me.  I would not have to worry about family and friends showing up, because I would never tell them it existed. This house would have a good amount of land too, so I could wander outside and feel the wind on my legs for a change.  It would be Valerie’s palace away from the world.  That’d be great!

Another thing I thought about doing is starting my own company.  One where I would primarily hire cross-dressers and you could imagine what the dress code might look like.  The only problem is I have no idea what a bunch of CDs, all dressed up, could do as a business.  I need some ideas here.  Suggestions anyone??  We would probably be horrible at manufacturing anything, so that angle is out.  There has to be something we do better than any other group, I just haven’t put my finger on it yet.

I did think about resurrecting the old TWA, aka Trans World Airlines (catchy name, huh?)  Then I could get some fabulous vintage stewardess outfits and have a ball.  Maybe we could fly around and go shopping, but I’m not sure how that investment would make any money.  I would just spend myself back into the working stiff lifestyle.  This project is still under review.

I also thought about buying a bar/restaurant.  Making it a place where transgendered or anyone could go without feeling judged.  I would hire some insanely big and mean bouncer-type guys to keep the trouble makers out.  I would seriously overpay these guys so that they were more than motivated to take care of us like we were their little sisters.  In the end, I think this would just be another way to drain all the money and create some well manicured alcoholics.  Yeah, better ditch this idea.

This whole “what to do when I am obscenely rich” plan still needs a lot of work.  But I am making progress.  I have $3.00 to throw at the next lottery in hopes of striking it rich.  Wish me luck! (A girl can dream right?)